Bon Soir!

 

 

Friends,

Seven months of taste testing flavors has made so many things abundantly clear. Autumn is officially here and to welcome all the snuggly traditions that come paired with a chill in the air, I’m going to wrap this up. Not only is it exhausting to date this much - it’s also  disheartening to know the average flavor is actually quite tasteless. I’ve gone through more men (HA!) than I dare count – but each deserve a thank you.

Thank you Flavors for showing me that all you have to offer is something I don’t much need or at this point, even want. Thank you for teaching me how to be a fantasticly skilled first dater, how to appropriately end conversations and dates on the spot, hot to surreptiously check the boxes, how to handle nearly all curve balls you may throw, and for showing me all the things I don’t want in a man. I know enough now to know exactly what I’m looking for – hopefully I’ll even see him coming!

From this point forward I’m going to have much more time dedicated to girly fabulousness and learning more about my industry. I really feel that I’ve done plenty of research on the opposite sex and I’d like to invest all of that outward energy from here on out into myself. There is no better time to be selfish with my time than now – having zero responsibilty is absolutely liberating and taking advantage of that is priority #1.

These past few months the deliciously addictive Athlete has shown me his best. For even his (few) faults, I find them absolutely charming. How do you know it’s love? Well.. I still think its this instant magic firework thing that happens when you first meet – if that doesn’t happen then love can’t develop after. Just a personal theory.  Anyway, I know he’s a winner. Whether or not he’s my personal champion, it’s too early too tell. It’s just that now, I am acutely aware of how necessary it is to show appreciation for the important people in your life, while you have them. I’ll always be selfless and giving in relationships, it’s the best way to love.

This little experiment has ultimately helped me to get over a huge obstacle in my life. Even though the whole thing began as a fun joke, a twisted sort of hobby, it was really constructive for me. Looking back, it was a coping mechanism and now I no longer need to “cope”. I’m really happy where I am right at this moment, I’ve got tons of new shoes (or shall I say Choos) to rock all fall and winter!  

 If you see me around, I’ll just be living into the answers of my questions.

XOXO

Harper

Daily Flavor: Chocolate

“Chocolate delivers more consistently than all other flavors… more reliable and available on demand; but not capable of the same surprise, intensity, serendipity or variety as love.”

 

After all…

Last night I was out with my GG and he always invites a random girl or two out that he just recently befriended. I wasn’t surprised in the least to see a leggy brunette at his side when I arrived to our spot. GG has this thing about wanting me to really like and befriend his new play things like he has… and upon introducing me he will always say, “tell ____ (insert random girl’s name) all about your latest story!” The girl last night happened to be from the south, and had a friendly demeanor – so I decided to share the Angel story. I had meant to leave all the names out of it, but “angel” slipped out when I was detailing some dialogue. The girl immediately perked up, she said, “Did this happen recently?!” I assured her that it hadn’t – but there was no lieing to this girl, she already knew. The recognition in her eyes said it all. She asked where the incident had gone down, and when I said the “Gates” she said, “O-M-G I go there like allll the time! Yah – I’m a total make out whore, I’ve made out with all those guys!” It was all I could do not to laugh, SHE was the girl who Angel had been smooching that night. I am so sure of it!! She pulls out her bb and shows me the texts from Angel on her phone.. she says, “See, I hang with them all the time!”. Which is so silly…

I just kept wanting to ask her how it felt to have Angel run to me, when he saw that he’d been caught kissing her.

I never actually asked her and I ended up warming to her as a friend. We exchanged numbers… I will no longer give any details in a damn story ever again. LESSON LEARNED.

NYC – big city, small town.

 

XOXO,

Harper

This just couldn’t wait…

The other night, I was out with friends doing a tiny bit of bar hopping and had plans to meet up at the Gates with my roommate later. As I was sipping my Black Rasberry Belevedere gimlet (my summer drink of choice)  and sitting next to one of the hottest Italian imports at the Boat House, I felt a vibration in my purse. It was from my roommate Rachel: Come to the Gates, I’m here with Anna. I knew that Angel usually goes to the Gates on Saturday nights… and I asked Rachel if she had met a tall handsome British guy. Apparently she was at his table! I told her not to reveal any details about her knowing me, or that I was going to be joining… and she kept the secret. Not 20 minutes later, I had left the Steamy Italian wanting more, and was entering the Gates. As I entered the golden glowing marble room, Angel’s eyes locked on mine and his jaw hit the floor. Thanks (many many thanks!) to my hot pink mini and black 6 inch platform barbie heels, Angel was drooling like a canine. Even though adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I kept my cool.  While casually saying hello to the dark haired gentleman to Angel’s left, and laughing (probably a bit too long) at the naughty compliment the gentleman whispered in my ear – I could sense his unease. As soon as I turned my attention his way, he slipped his arm around my waist and asked, “Why do you always give me grief?” and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled a coy smirk, stared him in the eyes and said, “You must have me mistaken for someone else.”

Quickly, I turned from him - forcing Angel to release his hold on me. After saying hello to the rest of the group he found me not five minutes later. Angel handed me a dirty martini and once again with his hands on my waist tried to get into my head, “You always seem to be throwing the dice! You don’t call me back! You don’t text me back! You won’t let me take you out! What has gotten into you?” I politely told him that I had been really busy the past month and certaintly wasnt rolling any dice, (*wink). He retorted, “You and your games!” This is when I pulled away, yet again – only to be pulled right back against his very tall, rock solid frame. He asked, “Can I see you this week? I really want to see you.” At this comment I was a bit surprised, was he really looking into the near future to plan a D-A-T-E? Noooo… couldn’t be! So, I pretended to shake some dice in my hand, blew on them, had Angel blow on them and mimed throwing the dice on the table. “What day Angel?” I asked. “Wednesday!” he shouted with sparkles in his eyes. I obliged, and told him we were going to another spot, and had to say goodbye. We’d been there maybe 45 minutes, and were ready to move on. Angel leaned in for a kiss to which I gave him the cheek. He seemed a bit miffed that I was leaving so soon…

On the way out, I was stopped by a really good looking BLONDE guy, and because he was blonde I kept the conversation short. My friend Gwen who I was leaving with had disapeared when I turned around, and I naturally assumed she was outside waiting on me. As I headed for the door, Angel swooshed past me holding the hand of a very tall underweight brunette model. Single file we walked towards the Gates, Angel – Brunette – Harper. Angel hadn’t noticed that he just walked past me, and has no idea that I’d just seen him twirl the brunette grab her hips and pull her in for a kiss. Apparently that’s his signature move. However, the brunette had seen me right before she went in for the kiss, and she had also seen me at the table when Angel only had eyes for me. Apparently she didn’t much care. I didn’t want to be seen by Angel however, and slipped out the door.

As I walked down the block, I was texting Gwen… “Where are you!? I’m outside! Jst saw Angel kiss a girl!!!!” When I looked up, searching the crowd for Gwen, my eyes locked with Angel’s just as he pulled away from kissing Brunette again. F*CK! I screamed inside my head. As fast as I could, I spun on my heels and walked further down the block. Texting Gwen – “OMG! Getting a cab NOW! Have to leave! Deets L8R!” In mid text I heard Angel’s voice screaming my name as he ran down the block to me, “HARPER! HARPERRRRR!!” I felt Angel’s hand on my back as I muttered, “Get away from me.” It was as if the boy had been blown back from the force of my words… “whhaaat? Whaat are you talking about?” “I SAW YOU KISS HER!” Stammering he finally gets out, “She is just my friend – do you want to meet her? Come with me, I’ll introduce you.” “Listen, Angel. I don’t need to meet her. And let me tell you, I refuse to be one of many.”  ”You’re not one of many, only one of a few…” “hahaha! I’m not ONE of ANY!! Good bye Angel.” As I walked away he grabed my wrist and I turned to look at him, he was shaking his head and with one hand in his hair, he said, “I’m f*cking speechless! I can’t get any words out… I mean… You won’t talk to me! You won’t respond to me! You walk in here and think that I haven’t met anyone new?! I haven’t seen you in a MONTH! I want to see you, I’ve tried! And this is what you do to me, you drive me f*cking crazy! [meanwhile, Brunette is totally watching this whole thing HA! and Gwen is no where insight.] “Do you want to know why you haven’t seen me? Really? You have no idea? It’s because I knew you were like THIS!!! Don’t waste my time Angel. I’m too much for you – and you know it. GOOD NIGHT!”

I walked to the corner, Angel still screaming my name… “HARRRRPPERRR!” as I ducked into the first cab that came down 8th Ave. 

 Gwen texted me a moment later that she was in a cab, and was right behind me. She said she saw Angel standing alone, leaning against the building and looking at the ground as she walked outside. About 10 mins after that, Rachel sent me a text saying Angel wasn’t having any fun and was standing alone inside not talking to anyone.

Honestly… I wish I could have made this story up. Too bad it’s all true. Poor kid… will he ever learn?

 

XOXO

Harper 

Walk the Line

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”

this photo inspired thoughts of Kiki and her ex Home Boy

This summer has been one helluva spree!!! It’s not that I’ve LOST inspiration to write… it’s just that I’ve gotten this NEW sensation… the Athlete and I have been enjoying much of the warmth together.  Along with some other hits and misses inbetween. I’ve been putting myself into debt with an outrageous addiction to shoe shopping. Kiki and her sorry excuse of an ex have officially called it quits – she moved out and is moving on. KiKi has been rebounding in several different zipcodes – lots of details to come. Lexi has ended her temporary love affair for good – and is moving on to a DENTIST! The dentist happens to be one of the most saught after bachelors/dentists in the country – go get ‘em Lex!

My one of my exFBF’s friends is trying to date me… he calls at all hours trying to convince me and himself that it’s a good idea. I think that he has lost his mind to thoughts and dreams of me in La Perla… but we will see how THAT goes. It’s just really a huge comedic performance every time he phones.

But so you know… the stories will continue when the weather cools… hopefully some love will remain!

 

XOXO

Harper

GOSSIP

 

 

Nobody’s Friend

My name is Gossip.

I have no respect for justice.

I maim without killing.

 I break hearts and ruin lives.

I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.

The more I am quoted the more I am believed.

My victims are helpless.

 They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.

To track me down is impossible.

The harder you try, the more elusive I become.

I am nobody’s friend.

Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.

I topple governments and wreck marriages.

I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion.

I make innocent people cry in their pillows.

Even my name hisses.

I am called Gossip.

I make headlines and headaches.

Before you repeat a story, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it harmless? Is it necessary?

If it isn’t, don’t repeat it.

~ Author Unknown

For the Love of KiKi

Mixed Signals

The Athlete and I have been spending some serious quality time together and this past weekend I learned alot more about his past and where he wants to go in life. We were sitting on my terrace Saturday afternoon, and just relaxed and talked for hours.

Athelete divulged a bit more about his ex and how she had been really mistrusting. She went as far as scanning his entire computer like a hacker looking for anything condemning. He said she never found a thing - because there was nothing to find. She would also check his phone – but he was completely transparent and honest about who he was talking to and who was texting him. She would freak out even when he showed her the text and that he wasn’t responding to any of the girls. The honesty seemed to make her more crazy, he said. When they broke up, it was for many reasons… they were all wrong for eachother but mostly that they had grown apart and had trust issues. They haven’t spoken in 8 months and he said he’d like to be friends with her one day but he’s not sure she is capable of it.

Athlete continued on to say that he is really enjoying New York, and is having a lot of fun. He said his focus is on building a bigger group of friends and he’s trying not to focus on romantic relationships. “I’m forcing myself to stay single…” he said. I didn’t bat an eyelash at this comment and we just kept talking about relationships in general and not about our own. We also talked about family and work, books and movies everything we just talked easily for hours. Casually laughing and smiling at each other, and when the sun went down we both had seperate dinner reservations and said good bye. He asked if we would run into each other later, and I told him no, that I was having a low key night (especially after Friday with Angel!). So he asked if he could see me on Sunday.

Sunday he was texting me all day – very sweetly and flirty. We ended up watching a Bond flick and ordered sushi. The Athlete and I cuddled up on his big cushy couch and under his super soft brown blanket. It was like we found our niche – in each other. A perfect fit. It was the first time I’d really felt perfectly at ease with him.  Twice during the movie he kissed me on the forehead and he lazily rubbed my back.  There was nothing erotic about this encounter – it was simply sugary chocolate dipped sweetness, a euphoric feeling… like floating on a cotton candy cloud. When the movie was over we cleaned up the sushi mess and he walked me down to the street and hailed my cab.

After he kissed me good bye, he asked me if we could get together soon. Of course I said yes.

 

None of his actions are saying he wants to stay single. Only his words. He’s not treating me like a hook up, and he’s not trying to just get us both drunk so that we make bad decisions. He’s just being sincerely rediculously incredibly almost too good to be true. The only catch – he’s “forcing” himself to be single. What does that mean when paired with his actions? I’m in no rush to figure this out… I am enjoying the way he makes me feel. I’m just worried about my heart.

 

XOXO

Harper

Angel Power

What Would Samantha Do?

First things first – She always tells it like it is…

1. “There isn’t enough wall space in NYC to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you – a lot of them were hung.” – Samantha

2. “Women don’t care. We care about nice arms, great eyes, a big dick… I’ve never once heard a woman say: “He had such a big full scrotum.” – Samantha

 

So when I was back in my apartment after a fabulous night out with Angel I was in quite the predicament and I just kept thinking… WWSD???  The halo of the British Angel was really shining last Friday night – we danced and kissed and partied all night long. It was intense forplay – flirting over the beating music and dancing in the neon lights – every girl wanted him – but he was mine. I thought it might not be a bad idea to continue the partying at my place – after all I’d kept him at bay with kisses since May… It wasn’t a shock when I found myself inviting him back. He wanted to take me to his place.. but I suggested mine.. I didn’t want to have to go all the way to mid town… (bleh, please excuse my neighborhood snobbery) and I just thought he’d leave after…. in my mind it would be easier that way. In the cab ride to my place he was making several of my girlish fantasies come true. That is until we were exiting the cab and he let me pay for the ride. (UGH..)

 Once back at my apartment he was the ultimate lovah – pinning me to the wall, and then picking me up and twirling me around – it was the most fun exhilerating experience! He knew exactly the right moves for a perfect love scene – it was like he had scripted the entire thing and I was his leading lady. That was, until… the curtains were drawn away… and I swear I could hear the whole crowd GASP in horror at the Jumbo Dumbo Moby Rocket Monster. It was incredible, magnificent, and HORRIFYING. Maybe if I explain it this way… picture this, a little baby girl, a toddler, watching a rocket launch from the closest NASA will allow, she is all alone with no one to hold her hand and comfort her from the sonic boom, and she has no idea what to expect, she hasn’t seen a rocket launch before. No matter how wonderful the miracle she is about to see, the baby girl is still scared by the sight and she doesn’t know how to process the big noise, the bright colorful explosion or the shocking waves that will rock through her body. The baby girl would likely cry. That’s how I felt when I saw IT: the Jumbo Dumbo Moby Rocket Monster. But I had to be strong, I had to handle the monster like a grown woman - not like I had suddenly been reverted back to a child.

Really – I feel like I’ve been blessed with my experieces in the past, enjoying the fruits of God’s creations, until this point. God,I really think you went a little TOO far with this one!! Really?! Were you thinking he’d make a fabulous porn star?

It was too late to turn back, I’d put this all in motion and the momentum was built up, nearly out of control, and there was no turning back. I had to go forth and conquer.

The next morning, Angel was still in my bed. I hadn’t slept a wink because he was sprawled out and I had to curl up on the edge. I was compelled to move to the couch, but just couldn’t imagine leaving my own bed because some moby was taking it all up. The boy wouldn’t evacuate the premises!!! He just kept on trying to go for round two – and let me tell you round one was freaking everlasting… and not in a good way. I was begging for it to end.. makes me think that he had to be out of his freaking mind! Angel developed into a FIVE STAGE CLINGER when he didn’t leave my apartment until 11am. That is waaaay past necessary polite cuddlyness – especially since I wanted the whole saga to be over before it really actually ever began.

Now the boy is texting and calling like I’m his girlfriend. Man… have the roles really been reversed.

 

 

XOXO,

Harper

 

 

 

Love Triangle

First things first… Good Guy, is no longer worthy of the title. Yes, proving all things we thought were true –  to be true… there are no “Good Guys” left. It’s ok, I can deal – really I can. I’m still breathing. Good Guy will now be referred to as BANDIT.

Sooo… Bandit’s status as bachelor extraordinaire should have been sharply altered to devoted boyfriend at the mere sight of his long distance love with Holland upon her arrival to NYC. However… the Bandit couldn’t even fool himself – as much as he wanted to have the same feelings for Holland as he once did keeping her as his #1 – he couldn’t. It’s just that he had started falling for the girl of his childhood dreams (Becky) all over again. He was battleing his feelings of right and wrong and promising himself he would do what he knows is right.

Then… the obvious happened. The three all ended up at the same place. Holland accompanied Bandit and our crew to the usual spot on Saturday and guess who showed up???? Just because Bandit didn’t invite Becky, she came because his other friend had invited her. Bandit played it well – neither girl was overly upset by the distance he was showing them, but they were aware something had changed a bit.

Becky was more concerned than Holland though, and she let him know it. Now, Bandit is busy scheduling time to see Becky when Holland is MIA — which is tres difficle considering that HOLLAND IS LIVING WITH BANDIT. And living with him for 5 weeks!!!!!

Right now, Bandit is considering 1) telling Becky he is going on vacation for 5 weeks 2) sneaking around behind Holland’s back (having his cake and eating it too) 3) telling Becky the truth, but keeping Holland in the dark.

 

Thoughts?

My thoughts… he is just a really good guy with bad timing.

 

 

XOXO

Harper